“Lit a Roman candle on our bus ride home. Cops showed up and he went right out the back door and kept running. Never came back to school.
If my memory serves me correctly, one of our teachers told us the cops found him hiding in his tree fort.”
“Senior year. Teacher wouldn’t give her a hall pass to use the bathroom (which was ridiculous). Instead of taking a more … conventional stand, like walking out of the room, she sat down in her desk and pissed her pants.
She was suspended, I forget for how long, there were editorials back and forth in the school paper. I was on team “teachers shouldn’t try to control our bowels but also maybe don’t piss on the floor, though I do appreciate your taking one for the team.’”
“Kid in my band class still thought “yo mama” jokes were funny.
We came back to school for the first time after Hurricane Sandy, and the kid goes to the teacher, “yo mama s-” and the teacher cuts him off “died in the hurricane”
The kid never told another one of those jokes in that class.”
“That windshield wipers wear out faster in the middle, because that’s the part you look through the most often, as if your sight is an energy beam that degrades the rubber or something.”
“The TA for one of my classes in college said his parents didn’t let him watch VeggieTales as a kid because “vegetables aren’t supposed to have souls.””
“I worked at a museum and had to let a girl go because she was going around telling everyone that dinosaurs weren’t real because no animals can breathe fire. She was a law student.”
“My step sister told me we should see the PG-13 movie because PG meant “pretty good.”
EDIT: She wasn’t a little kid when she said this. She was 19. Movie was Breaking Dawn Part 2. Take that however you want.”
So…how was your night?